New Beginnings

Vijayadashami

Over the last nine days, we have explored many themes of relevance to Hindu families through the Navaratri series of guest posts. We have seen how a Hindu marriage is a unique partnership to achieve higher-order goals. Everyone needs to pitch in and play their role in creating a strong Dharmik family. 

Women (especially mothers) can take the lead in nudging their families back to Sanatana dharma through daily micro-decisions. Once women have clarity, the whole family will follow. Take the choice of festive clothing for the family. We can either get the children to dress up in traditional finery or let them stay in faded jeans. Food offers a similar gamut of choices. We can learn to make (together) a traditional family recipe or make do with pizza. The extended family can encourage these choices by enthusiastically giving their best compliments when children dress up in traditional clothes. They will then want to do it more often. Similarly, friends and family must applaud any effort to help with special food preparation so that children take pride in it. 

In their roles as fathers, men can actively participate in festivals by wearing Indian clothes, a tilak, and setting an example with puja preparations. Hindu men are, by and large, the most supportive husbands and fathers. They strongly encourage academic excellence and achievement in their children. Fathers can easily extend the spirit of excellence to celebrating Hindu culture and acquiring knowledge about Hindu philosophy. Make a plan in advance for each festival, taking ideas from children. Include both the fun and spiritual component in festivals. A balance of both is essential.

These days Hindu festivals like Navaratri have been reduced to food stalls and entertainment shows. There is very little to distinguish them from secular celebrations like Independence Day. Men can take charge of organizing Hindu festivals in public spaces like apartment complexes. Get older children to research, prepare questions and schedule a quiz for the younger ones. On Navaratri, arrange prizes for winners of the Devi quiz. You can start immediately with this Devi quiz. The kids in charge of drama can include a skit about the significance of the festival and its origins. Give a grand prize to the DJ who can collect and play good, original folk songs for the Dandia or Garbha. Demand that the DJ stay clear of vulgar movie songs. Each family can decide to stay away from suggestive dances. When we work with a purpose, focus, and awareness, we can reclaim the essence of Hindu festivals.

Women can set the direction for their families, but the man's support makes or breaks the woman's resolve. It is too much responsibility for one person alone to transmit tradition and values to the children. A team effort is needed. Grandparents need to pitch in to make things enjoyable. Celebrating a festival shouldn't be limited to food and fun but also include puja and bhakti so that kids see beyond hedonism. 

Vijayadashami is the day of new beginnings. Parents juggle between taking kids to music teachers and visiting extended families. Let us take a Sankalpa (vow) to do things in a slightly more Hindu way from today. Small changes bring big payoffs eventually. Parents can do this in several ways:

1. Reserve one day a week for conversations about Sanatana dharma. Start today with a dinner table discussion on the Hindu life goals (the four purushathas of dharma, artha, kama, and moksha). A child who knows terms like this will become a confident Hindu who cannot be swayed easily.

2. Become a dharma-learner along with your child. Take a class together. Learn to chant Vishnu Sahasranama together. Prepare a traditional dish together every month.

3. Take children to attend at least one traditional Hindu wedding ceremony every year, even when they have school. It is okay to miss half a day, especially in elementary and middle school. The benefits of attending traditional events far outweigh the loss of missing a school day. At weddings, try to ask the pujari and understand the significance of the rituals. When kids know religious traditions, they will not get all their knowledge from a celebrity trying to turn them against practices like kanyadaan. Familiarity will ensure that they stand up for their heritage. 

   Becoming a confident, assertive Hindu is taught within families. Children will learn fast when they see it modeled by adults in the family.

   As it becomes socially acceptable and aspirational to celebrate a Hindu festival in the Hindu way, we will see our children's confidence increase by leaps and bounds. We are a naturally joyous and colorful culture, and it should be easy to attract children to it, given the proper encouragement. 

   Finally, we can only love what we know. And we can only defend what we love. So if Hindu children have never seen a Hindu ritual, how can they know, love, or protect it?