The First 18 Years of Life

A Roadmap Based on the Bhagavad-Gita

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The Bhagavad-Gita has 18 chapters, divided into three sections of six chapters each. The first six chapters are commonly understood to be about Karma Yoga, the Yoga of Action. Chapters 6-12 expound on principles of Bhakti Yoga, the Yoga of Devotion. The last six chapters deal with Jnana Yoga, the Yoga of Knowledge. 

Let's use a roadmap inspired by the Bhagavad-Gita as a guide to raising children. We can map the first six years to Karma Yoga, the next six to Bhakti Yoga, and the last six years (before a child goes to college in the modern era) to Jnana yoga. So we have three paths to reach the Divine, mapped to three aspects of human life that find expression in action, feeling, and thought. As parents, we must teach children about all three parts and how Hindu principles give a stable base and room for exploration.

Karma means action, so Karma Yoga is all about performing the activities of our daily life. It's the perfect beginning for young children who are actively learning the necessary motor skills to function in the world. Up to the age of six, children are busy learning how to do things. They take a natural delight in action, making it an excellent time to introduce them to the physical rituals of worship. 

The first thing that should be encouraged is physical participation in Hindu rituals. Let them bring flowers for puja. If there is no daily puja at home, let them pluck a flower and learn how to offer it to the deity every day. Young children will be excited by this simple task. They can also learn how to ring a bell for the evening aarti. Nowadays, children go to preschool or Montessori and learn skills like gluing, pouring sand, etc. You can incorporate a variant at home by having the child separate the petals from flowers to be used for important festivals and decorating rangolis. Teach them how to pluck Tulasi leaves the right way - as a pair, by holding two leaves at a time. They can also learn to water the Tulasi plant daily. While young children learn verbal skills, initiate them into an Indian language and some Sanskrit shlokas. It gets progressively more challenging for kids to wrap their tongue around Indian words unless a native language is introduced in the first six years.

Having learned to control their movement, children aged 6-12 can start learning about emotional connection. Bhakti Yoga is all about approaching the Divine through emotion. Age 6-12 can be a great time to learn about feelings and simple self-control. We can encourage kids to manage their feelings at this age. Teach them to sit and meditate in the puja room. Introduce the child to meditation as a tool to calm oneself and to regulate anger. 

Children start to look beyond the immediate family at this age, making it the right time to nurture a close emotional bond with grandparents. They are ready to learn but not yet as busy as they will get in the teen years. The bond with grandparents satisfies a deep emotional need for connection while also providing a vehicle for transmitting family values, stories, and cultural heritage. 

The best way for a child to develop a feeling of belonging is through fluency in an Indian language. Grandparents who are well versed in regional languages and literature are therefore a child's best friends at this age. Learning Indian dance and music is another excellent way to encourage bhakti and connect with the emotions.

Moving on to the next six years, age 12-18 is a time of great intellectual flowering, making it natural to add Jnana yoga to their upbringing at this point. Teenagers are curious about the external world, and people outside the immediate family begin to exert a strong influence on the child. The teenage years are the perfect time to introduce a big-picture of the world. An expanded perspective should include civilizational pride and responsibility towards the ancestors.

During the teen years, identity becomes essential. Who am I? Why am I here? Children start looking for answers to these questions, making them particularly receptive to the big philosophical questions answered so beautifully by Hindu philosophy. Build intellectual growth on the foundation laid in the first 12 years. Include the Hindu people's history, questions about similar indigenous cultures around the world, and what happened to them. It's also the right age to explore the rich philosophical underpinnings of Hindu culture. We can help teenagers develop discrimination (Viveka) and the wisdom to distinguish between binaries like truth and fiction, temporary and permanent, logical and illogical. 

Once the first 12 years have given children a good knowledge of Hindu ritual, worship, and practice, we can show them how to relate to the world. They can apply the principles of Viveka to understand happenings around the world as reported by newspapers and all forms of media.

We can see how each level builds on the previous one to create a beautiful tower with a firm base. Introduce Bhakti Yoga as an addition to Karma Yoga. Introduce Jnana yoga while continuing Karma Yoga and Bhakti Yoga.

A Hindu parent can use Karma Yoga (ability to work with focus) and Bhakti Yoga (emotional maturity) as a base to add on Jnana Yoga (intellectual growth and wisdom) during the teen years. With a good roadmap and a plan in place, parents can enjoy eighteen precious years with their children while giving them a solid foundation in Hindu concepts.